To begin, I would like to discuss the meaning of loneliness.

Loneliness is a “state of mind.” Loneliness can cause us to feel unwanted, alone, not worthy. And it can cause stress, affect sleep and other chronic health conditions.

Most of us experience loneliness in our lifetime, usually from life events that have a major impact on us. Holidays is certainly a time when loneliness is common, which is totally normal (a word I do not like!).

With a good support system, conversations with others and taking time to acknowledge this “state of mind,” we are able to adapt. Some, unfortunately, get stuck. Self-medicating or more doctor visits, or looking for something “outside of themselves” does not work.

I also want to address the geriatric population in particular, when it comes to loneliness. This does not include those in assisted living or nursing homes. They matter and that will be addressed another time as they rarely get any acknowledgement.

Our country is quite large, with many choices of where to settle. Gone are the days when families stay in the same area. Transportation has made it so easy to move around. Being older and on a limited income or not can make it difficult to travel during a busy season, especially if you have family members in different locations. And younger families want to the holidays with their children in their own homes.

Fortunately, FaceTime and other technologies can reconnect families that are distant — that is, if you have a family.

If you have lost a loved one, a suggestion I have is to light a candle for each person you are missing. That way, they are included. The candle gives us a connection and sense that they are here and things are ok.

For those who are geriatric and alone — and really anyone who struggles during the holidays — what can help get us through the season?

This is one I love: A simple act of kindness.

It does not require a large monetary donation to visit a nursing home or volunteer at a hospital. You can just listen. Listening is a skill. It’s crucial not to interrupt or judge. But ask questions. A smile is important and a good connection. That can be the greatest gift of all.

Dementia patients live “in the moment” and may said things that make no sense. But it’s important not to correct them. Just agree to say that’s nice or something kind. Again, just listen.

If you’re in an organization or have a group of friends, consider adopting a needy family. You could provide them a holiday dinner. There are many ways to give back to your community. If there are people you know in the military, plan a holiday dinner for them and their family.

There are many lonely young people and families this time of year, too. Being a geriatric citizen gives you lots of opportunities to make to make a difference for them as well. There are many opportunities to make new memories and friends. The positive for us is the motto “we are not dead yet” — and still active and important in our communities.

One last thing: Alcohol is a depressant. So if you are sad or depressed during this time of year, more alcohol is not the answer. Read a good book. Take a walk. Call a good friend.

Ok, really one more last thing!

As I am an older adult I would appreciate not being called “that old person” The language of ageism is stereotypical and degrading. We are all different. “Elderly” is much kinder.

Ok done for now, I promise! Wishing all of you a very happy holiday season!