Steve Trotter

I recently heard about some research on how Americans see one another.

It was partly a survey and partly an experiment. The survey wanted to find out how people of opposite political parties viewed the other side. That is, what did a typical Republican think of Democrats and what did typical Democrats think of Republicans.

No great surprise, both Republicans and Democrats spoke of the other in quite harsh terms, using generalizations and black/white thinking. For example “Those Democrats are socialists and they hate our country!” and “Republicans are fascists and they want to destroy our democracy!”

Speaking to people of our own political bent, that’s how we talk. Using generalizations, we throw everyone with a different view (to us an almost evil view) into a pit while we look around for fuel sufficient to consume the whole lot of ‘em and a match to start things burning.

The survey largely affirmed what we see on TV and read in the papers, hear on the radio and are bombarded with on “social media.” Our nation is in big trouble; I’m seeing things (reality) rightly and THEIR version of reality is all wrong.

That’s what the survey produced. The experiment followed.

The experiment put one Democrat and one Republican in the same room with a moderator who asked both the same questions. Both Republican and Democrat were surprised to learn that the other shared much the same values. At the core of each, they were more similar than not.

Love of America? Both held strong feelings for our country. Both loved the freedom America’s founders sought. Both thought being better educated beat being ignorant. Both thought hatred for anyone “different” was wrong. Both put value on family and honesty and helping out the less fortunate. Both disliked taxes, but valued many of the things taxes provided. Both hated government waste and inefficiency.

How to find or keep those values brought out different views. What threatened those values brought different explanations and beliefs. But the core values, the things that were central and held as Important, were pretty much the same for a Democrat and a Republican.

That’s not what we hear, of course. We’re told by some political leaders that anyone on the other “side” is evil, an enemy, someone whose values were dark and dangerous. Hear that stuff enough and we begin to believe it. Hear it enough and we begin to distance ourselves from the “others,” those who espouse the “wrong” view.

Until you sit them down with the other, not as Republicans and Democrats, but as people, neighbors, fellow citizens. Until you and I sit down with one of “them” and discover how much you and I share in common with those you and I considered our enemy, discovering how our values are closer to theirs than we thought.

Of course, and this is part of the problem, there are some, a minority, in both camps who hold views and values that are an extreme. There are those who are far-right or far-left whose values are skewed toward hatred and violence, who see things in terms of white or black, who refuse to acknowledge any shade of gray, any nuance or subtlety which is there in all our thinking and believing, but not for those pressed to the far reaches of Left or Right.

What should you and I do? In my view a good place to start is to stop generalizing. Stop thinking in terms of “us” and “them.”

Are there Republicans who are fascists? Unfortunately, yes. But they are by no means the majority of Republicans. Are there Democrats who want to break some of the valuable things which the majority of Americans hold dear? Unfortunately, a minority of Democrats are guilty of just that.

Instead, think of your Aunt Judy, a doggone liberal, a progressive who loves to bake pumpkin pies for your Thanksgiving dinner, shows up at all the high school football games, reads to first graders at the elementary school, cares enough to visit the elderly as they slowly disintegrate at a care facility. Judy attended OSU. She’s a Beaver to the core, who bleeds orange and black. And red, white and blue.

Or consider Uncle Jerry, who bakes the best apple pie in your family and always shows up with two of them at Christmas family gatherings. Uncle Jerry volunteers many hours at the VFW, looking after veterans much older than he, coaches Little League baseball even though his kids grew out of that long ago. Uncle Jerry, a conservative, is first to claim a bleacher seat at high school basketball games. Jerry attended U of O; he’s a Duck who bleeds green and yellow. And red, white and blue.

You love your Aunt Judy and her politics don’t get in the way. You treat her as an individual and agreeing with her views or not, you get along just fine over a second slice of her pumpkin pie as you’re both overstuffed after a terrific Thanksgiving meal.

You love your Uncle Jerry too, and his politics don’t get in the way. You know him, and he is much more important than his being a conservative (“Whatever that means,” you say to yourself.) Together, you rejoice in two apple pies and share a second piece a few hours after Christmas dinner is finished, delighting that politics aren’t what makes for mutual respect and mutual delight, glad Uncle Jerry doesn’t care that you didn’t go to college. He respects your work, whatever it is, even though it’s different from the work he does.

Judy and Jerry don’t fit the generalizations at all. They don’t match the stereotypes. You know what? Turns out very few of us do.